Naked
If I had to choose a word to describe me right now, it would be Naked. But not in the way you might think.
The day after Emily was born, my wonderful husband presented me with a gift – a beautiful beaded bracelet, locally made, with her name on it. I have worn this bracelet every day since – except for a period of 2 days about a month after I went back to work, when she was about 4 months old and I managed to lose it. Praise God that another child found it in the parking lot of our daycare. But, I digress. I have always told Emily that I wear the bracelet in order to have her with me throughout the day.
A few days after Norah was born, I went downtown to a local artists’ co-op to see what could be done. You see, the local business that had lovingly made my Emily bracelet had since closed its doors. Thankfully, Wendy at Imagine That was able to take my bracelet and perfect it with the addition of a second strand for my second daughter. I missed having Emily with me, but it was so worth it once I was able to have BOTH my girls with me once I got the bracelet back. And again, I have worn my bracelet every day – until Wednesday.
You see, on Wednesday, I took the day off from work. I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything but the beautiful little face I saw for the first time on Tuesday night. The face of our third daughter – Julia. Dan and I spent the morning on the phone with doctors and on the phone with our agency. But we also took the time to head downtown once again, and now Wendy is working her magic once more to make my bracelet complete. And as before, I miss having my girls with me – and feel naked without my bracelet – but it will be so worth it to have all my children with me once I have my bracelet back. And this time, the metaphor seems even deeper…as I think ahead to the weeks we will spend in China. I will so miss having Emily and Norah with me – but the pain will be worth it when Dan and I get to bring their sister home for our family to be complete at last.
The bracelet may not seem like much…but I have been looking at it each day and dreaming of the moment we received our referral; the moment I would finally allow myself to add the name we have so lovingly chosen for our little girl. And though she will be too little to understand right away, it is so important to me that she will never know a time that her name wasn’t on my arm. That she knows HER name was added just as each of her sisters – after they were born. The difference in this case is that she was nearly 10 months old the day she was born in our hearts. Each of our girls has been born to us in a slightly different way; yet, each time I have had nearly the identical feeling. But I’ll save that for another post. For now, I continue to look to the day where my right wrist is properly outfitted once again.
