The Lacher Family

It has been 4 weeks since we submitted our LOI for our daughter.  I am thankful this is a busy time of year so I have other things to focus on.  Each day, friends and co-workers ask if there is any news.  I am very glad to be asked, so please don’t stop asking.  However, if I really stop to think about what I am saying – vs offering the canned answer – I am likely to get emotional.  So, I apologize if you are one of the poor people who has to witness that.  Amazingly, I have been able to keep it under control pretty well.

The waiting is really excruciating, especially when there is nothing that can be done to move things along.  We are still probably at least a couple more weeks away from LOA.  Once we have this, we can submit our I-800 paperwork.  And then…more waiting.

I long to hold my baby girl in my arms.  For now, we are working to put a small package together to send to her with a photo album of pictures of us.  Hopefully her nannies will show it to her and help her get familiar with our faces.

My prayer is that we receive TA (travel approval) prior to Chinese New Year (begins Feb 3) so we can hopefully travel in February.  Many days, I am optimistic.  Today – not so much. 

It may be hard for others to understand what this wait is like.  Having experienced the birth of a child before, I think I can best describe it this way:  you labor and labor and finally get to see your child’s face.  It is a moment of pure bliss and joy.  The feeling of love for that child is so immediate, the face of the child new and yet somehow so familiar.  With childbirth, the next moment is when your child is wrapped in a blanket and placed in your arms.  In international adoption, picture instead that your child is taken to another hospital far away.  You know where the hospital is, but you are not allowed to go there until you have permission.  Permission takes months to be granted and there is no way to predict exactly when it will be granted.  You want to know that your baby is ok so you send a package – but you do not know if she will ever receive it and you do not know whether you will get any information in return.  Who is taking care of her? Is she healthy? Does she receive comfort when she cries?  These and so many other questions go unanswered.

Mothers and fathers – can you imagine this scenario?  Seeing your child’s face once and then not having any contact with him or her again for 4-6 months?  If you feel the agony in this story – then you have a glimpse into how I feel each day.

Julia JiLei, I miss you so much.  All I have is 3 photographs but to me they are so much more.  I love you.  –your MaMa