The Lacher Family

One of the realities of having an adopted daughter is that she has a first mother.  And in our case, we will never get to meet or even know this woman.  This is a tremendous loss for Julia and I hope I am able to support her through processing that loss throughout her life.  But to be honest, I haven’t thought about her birth mother since we were in Shanghai.  At Julia’s finding place, I was nearly overwhelmed standing there picturing the emotions that woman must have felt the day she left her daughter behind.  Since then, we have been so busy just adjusting to life that I haven’t given her much thought.  Until yesterday.

I was on the phone, leaving an RSVP message on an answering machine for a birthday party.  Julia was on my right hip, the crook of my arm supporting her.  My hand was curled around her and her shirt had slipped up so her belly was exposed.  My fingers brushed across her belly button and the thought crossed my mind that I had never really paid much attention to her belly button.  As my fingers returned and gently caressed her navel, I suddenly had this jolt of emotion unlike anything I have ever experienced.  I nearly had to hang up the phone.  I was filled with a rush of sadness over the loss that her birth mother must have felt that day, after being joined together at that belly button for 9 months.  We may never know the full story behind our daughter’s abandonment, but we can say with certainty that the moment created a huge loss for both mother and child.  In that brief moment, I felt the full weight of that loss.  At the same time, I felt a sense of kinship with this unknown woman – a woman with whom I share a forever connection now.

I wish I could more adequately express what happened in those few seconds yesterday.  I am so thankful that God used such a simple moment to help me feel something so important.  And I hope that He continues to open my eyes to just how much our little girl has already overcome in such a short time of being part of our family.