The Lacher Family

Had a bit of a rough patch this morning. The day started off great. Julia was all smiles this morning when she woke up around 6:30. We all had a good breakfast, got dressed, took Emily to school, and went to the post office to mail Julia’s announcements. Then we got home, had a snack, and went to play in the basement. I was a bit chilly so I went upstairs to get a sweatshirt. Norah and Julia were playing so nicely that I decided to throw in a load of laundry. And then I could hear Julia doing her happy talking so I confess – I checked my email too. All in all, I was out of the basement for about 15 minutes. Then, I went back downstairs. Julia had crawled into the hallway near the bathroom, and Norah was asking for help in the bathroom. I made eye contact with Julia and said hi. She looked at me with familiarity, and as I walked past her to help Norah, I saw it happen. Her eyes glazed over a bit, and she looked at hte floor and started wimpering. I quickly helped Norah and went instantly back to Julia. She was wimpering and avoiding eye contact. I spoke soothingly to her and went to pick her up. As I did, she began wailing and then went straight to her mourning cry. And cried. And CRIED. I could not get her to make eye contact. Every time she looked at me she wailed harder.

I continued to soothe her and she laid her head on my shoulder. I didn’t force eye contact and just kept talking to her, but after several minutes I knew I had to find a distraction because she wasn’t coming back to me. I don’t ever want her to feel that she can’t express her feelings about her past, but I also wanted her to come back to reality. I took her upstairs and after building two or three towers with her stacking cups and letting her knock them down, she was starting to calm down again. I kept her in my arms for the next half hour until lunch was ready, and then after that she was fine; the shine back in her eyes, a slight smile on her lips.

Clearly, playing independently for those few minutes took her back to the orphanage, where she no doubt played on her own for hours at a time. When she saw me, even though we were at home, it obviously brought back emotions. She was not expecting to see me. After two months, even though so much progress has been made, she still wasn’t expecting me. Wow.